Solitude
by izzie579
Summary: Maura feels like Jane is abandoning her, she makes a plan to get Jane's attention


**Solitude**

"Hey, Maur," she says, and my heartbeat picks up. Its like I wasn't even alive before she said my name.

"Yes, Jane?"

"Me and Melissa are going out for lunch, wanna join us?"

I nod, keeping a straight face. "Sure, let me just finish up here."

Jane smiled at me. "I'll wait for you."

I breathed deeply, trying to calm down. I couldn't focus on the report, so I got up and told Jane that I could finish it later.

xxxxxxxxxx

"So then," Melissa continued, "I tackle the bastard to the ground and I smack him round the head. Asshole will never call my sister a bitch again, I tell ya!"

I rolled my eyes discreetly at the loud woman's tale. I pretended to like her in front of Jane, because she's happy with Melissa. But I'm not.

Jane leaned closer to kiss Melissa's cheek and I looked away. There were some things I didn't have to see, like the woman I love being with someone else.

"Maur, remember when I tackled Frankie in the coffee shop the other day?"

I smiled, happy that I wasn't left out completely. "Your mother is still mad about that," I laughed.

Jane turned back to Melissa to tell her what had happened. I sighed softly. That's how it was these days. Since Melissa came into Jane's life, I've taken a backseat. Against my will. I missed our sleep overs and Friday nights at the Robber were now a bore for me; Jane and Melissa usually left early, leaving me with Frost and Korsak. Not that I minded their company, I missed Jane's.

But Maura Isles would not give up.

xxxxxxxxxx

I glanced around, making sure the bullpen was empty. At six fifteen it was sure to be, but I checked nonetheless, before walking in and placing a single daisy on Jane's desk. I knew it was her favourite, hoping that she would appreciate it.

At lunchtime, I had heard nothing from her yet, so I went up to see her.

"Have you seen Jane?" I asked Frost.

"Yeah," he replied with a grin. "She went for a quickie with Melissa."

"You mean a quick lunch?"

Frost laughed. "Sure, Doc. I'm sure they're grabbing something good to eat."

I left the snickering man behind, wondering why Jane went out without telling me. I had noticed that the daisy was missing. I shook it off and went to finish my report from the previous day, luckily this time not distracted by Jane.

The next day I left another daisy on Jane's desk. She called me when she got it, demanding we have lunch alone, and that she had something important to tell me. I smiled to myself.

"Maur, I realised something this morning," she said, and I watched her closely. "I think I love her."

"What?" I was stunned.

Jane smiled. "I know, I was shocked too, but I really think so."

"You've only known Melissa for three weeks!" I exclaimed.

"Its cute that you are worried about me," Jane said. "But I'm a big girl, and I think this could be it. She could be the one."

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I fought the urge to shout at her that she was making a mistake, but then she smiled. I melted. "Jane," I began softly. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

She took my hand over the table between us and squeezed lightly. "Thank you," she whispered.

I merely smiled, keeping her hand in mine for as long as she would allow. We shared a few smiles through the silence, and I was almost glad when her phone interrupted my thoughts.

Her face lit up when Melissa's ringtone played. I've always hated the song 'Sexy Back.'

Two weeks later I was feeling even more lonely. Abandoned, left behind.

I paced in my kitchen, wondering what to do. I had kept leaving daisies on Jane's desk every morning, and she thought it was Melissa being sweet. And then it struck me. I smiled, suddenly looking forward to dinner with the Rizzoli's. And Melissa.

"Jane, could you pass the gravy?" I asked, placing my hand on her forearm.

She smiled and did as I asked. I removed my hand reluctantly after I got a strange look from Angela.

I finished with the gravy and leaned closer to Jane as I placed it back on the table. It was now or never. "You smell nice, Jane, is that new perfume?"

I saw her blush a little. "Yeah, its Daisy Eau So Fresh." Of coarse I knew. I left it on her desk the previous week.

I smiled. "Marc Jacobs? It smells lovely on you." I knew it would.

"Thanks," she said, still blushing a little.

I glanced at Melissa, sitting on Jane's other side. She looked bored.

"Bellis perennis," I said. "It is thought that the name "daisy" is a corruption of "day's eye", because the whole head closes at night and opens in the morning." I checked to see if I still held Jane's attention. She smiled at me, and I continued. "In ancient Rome, the surgeons who accompanied Roman legions into battle would order their slaves to pick sacks full of daisies in order to extract their juice. Bandages were soaked in this juice and would then be used to bind sword and spear cuts." I paused. "Daisies always remind me of you."

Jane locked eyes with me, and my heartbeat increased. I glanced down at her lips, but quickly looked back into her chocolate eyes.

"And why would daisies remind me of you?" She asked.

I suddenly became aware that everyone had their eyes on us. I cleared my throat. "Well, its such a simple flower, but its so beautiful. It symbolizes innocence, purity and loyal love. Some of your most endearing qualities."

Jane smiled brightly and pulled me into a tight hug. "It was you," she whispered in my ear.

Her warm breath sent shivers down my spine. "Yes," I whispered back.

"Thank you."

We pulled apart, still smiling at each other.

"Jane, can I see you in the kitchen, please?" Melissa didn't wait for a reply.

Jane followed her obediently.

I sighed. At least she knew about the daisies, and the perfume.

"Maura, are you alright, dear?" Angela asked.

I nodded. "Yes, thank you. I'm just a little tired." Not a lie. I was tired, tired of hiding my feelings for Jane.

"Would you like some left-overs to take home?"

"Thank you," I replied, thankful for the distraction too.

Suddenly, an outburst from the kitchen drew our attention.

"You got it all wrong!" Jane yelled.

Melissa's voice was just as loud. "No! I know what that meant to you! I could see it!"

Angela's eyes widened. Frankie flinched. I frowned.

"You don't know anything!" Came Jane's voice, followed by a loud crash.

"Fuck you!" Melissa yelled.

"You never did!" Jane screamed back, her voice getting raspier.

"You wouldn't let me!"

"Get out," Jane's voice was low. Deadly.

Melissa stormed out of the house, slamming the front door behind her.

Angela made to get up, but I stopped her. "I'll go."

I entered the kitchen and found Jane rubbing her right hand. She stared at me. "I guess you heard all that."

I nodded. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Except for my hand."

"Let me have a look," I moved closer.

"Its just a scratch," she said.

I examined the back of her hand, it really was just a scratch. "How did it happen?"

"Melissa tried to hit me. I defended myself."

I looked at the broken glass on the floor. "And that?"

"I threw it at her."

I hid my smile when I stroked over her knuckles. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jane shook her head. "There's not much to say."

"Jane, we have to talk about this. About us."

"What about us?"

I smiled. "I see you're playing dumb again, and winning."

Jane burst out laughing.

"Did I use that correctly?"

She gasped for air. "Yes," she choked. "You did!"

I smiled, glad to make her laugh.

"Maur?" She said when she stopped laughing.

"Yes, Jane?"

"I love you."

I stared. Did I just hear that?

"Don't freak out," she said. "I mean you're my best friend, and I love you. Thanks for cheering me up."

My heart sank. She didn't love me the way I loved her. I couldn't say anything as she hugged me tightly. I forced a smile.

"Maur? Say something."

"I... I love you too, Jane, but-" I didn't know what to say. But it hurts me to see you happy with someone else? But I don't think we can be friends if I can't get over you?

"But what?" She asked gently.

I closed my eyes. "I want us to be more than friends."

I heard Jane's soft sigh. "You gave me the perfume. And the flowers, too."

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I felt tears stinging my eyes. "I didn't know what to expect. But I guess that this is it, then. I'll just go."

I was stopped by Jane's gentle touch to my shoulder. I opened my eyes when she wiped away my tears. "You're not leaving without me," she said softly.

I stared into her eyes. "What's going on between us, Jane? I'm so confused. Talk me through it."

She took my face in her hands. "I love you, Maura. But I only came to terms it today. I have to deal."

I nodded my understandment. "We can talk about this tomorrow."

Jane didn't move. She stroked my cheeks gently with her thumbs. "I don't want to let you out of my sight," she confessed. "Can we go watch a movie at your place and cuddle?"

I smiled. "Of coarse. Your mother promised me left-overs, we can have that tomorrow. That is, if you want to stay over."

"I don't think I want to leave your side ever again, Maur. I just need to think a bit. I'll go home first, take a shower, but I gotta apologize to Ma first about Melissa being rude."

I had forgotten that we were in the kitchen, one room away from a very nosy Angela. "Do you think your mother is eavesdropping?" I whispered.

"Yes," Jane whispered back.

We giggled quietly, and Jane leaned her forehead against mine. "I didn't want anything to change between us. I was scared, but right now, I really don't know why."

"Nothing has to change, Jane."

"I want some things done differently," she said softly. "I want to be able to hold you, and kiss you, and make you mine."

I smiled. "Jane, you can do that if you want to. We'll go at the pace you set."

"Thank you, for being this patient with me. And I don't want you to think that I'm just using you as a rebound. I really do love you."

I frowned. "You said that you love Melissa."

Jane sighed. "I was wrong. We just weren't mean to be, but she served her purpose."

"What do you mean?"

"You were jealous of her," Jane said smugly.

I pulled away from Jane and removed her hands from my face. "I was not jealous." I held her hands in my own.

"Yeah, you were. If I didn't date her, would you have done what you did?"

"No," I said honestly. "If you didn't date her, I would have just kissed you at some point."

Jane gaped. "Really, Maura?"

I smiled sweetly. "Yes, Jane."

"Stop saying my name," she groaned.

"Why? I thought you liked it. Your facial muscles indicate that-"

"I like it too much," Jane concluded. "It turns me on, the way you say it with so much passion."

I smiled. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"Right now, being in my mother's kitchen, yes!"

We laughed again, still holding hands.

"Maur? Can I ask you something?"

I nodded. "Anything."

"Will you be my girlfriend?" She asked, almost shyly.

"Yes," I said softly. I inched closer, rubbing my nose against hers.

I felt her breath on my face as I brought our lips together, simply brushing mine across hers.

"Maur, do it properly," she breathed out.

I pressed my lips to hers again, applying a little more pressure. I trailed my hands up her arms, linking them around her neck.

Her hands came to rest on my hips as I opened my mouth slowly, grazing her bottom lip with my teeth.

Jane opened her mouth too, taking my bottom lip in and sucking on it softly. I returned the favour, going a step further and running my tongue across her lips. She let me in and our tongues slided together perfectly, slowly and passionatley. It was as if the world stood still around us.

We pulled apart after a few minutes, both a little breathless.

"Let's go watch that movie," Jane said softly. "I think we could do with some cuddling right now."

I smiled, taking her hand again. "I think we should skip the movie and just do the cuddle part."

Jane squeezed my hand. "That sounds great."

"Let's go tell your mother," I whispered.

"Finally!" Angela burst into the kitchen and pulled me into a tight hug. "Finally my Janie gets someone who is good for her!"

"Ma!" Jane groaned.

Angela let go of me and hugged Jane.

"Really, Ma? Really?"

"Yes, Janie! I'm so glad this finally happened, we've all been waiting for so long."

I smiled brightly. "Angela, would you mind letting go of Jane so I could take her home?"

Jane groaned again. "Between the two of you, I'll never have a moment of sanity again."

xxxxxxxxxx

I handed Jane her beer, making myself comfortable on the couch.

She smiled and kissed my cheek softly.

"You didn't sleep with Melissa," I said.

"No. I couldn't. I didn't want to."

"Why not?"

Jane set her beer on the coffee table and turned to face me. "I don't know, maybe it was my subconcious telling me that I wanted that with you."

"Really?" I asked eagerly.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "But I don't think we should do it tonight. I want to wait a while."

I smiled at her. "We're moving at your pace, Jane. I told you that I'm comfortable with that."

"Why are you so good to me?"

"Because I love you, Jane."

Jane took my hand and kissed my knuckles softly. "You are so amazing. I love you, Maura."

"Its always been you, Jane," I said softly. "Since I met you, I found myself comparing every person I've been with to what I want with you. Its never been enough."

"I didn't know how you'd react if I told you, because I didn't want to lose your friendship," Jane replied. "You mean so much to me, Maur. I'd rather have you as a friend, than nothing at all."

A sudden thought struck me. "Jane, what about when you said that Melissa could be the one for you?"

Jane hung her head. "I didn't think straight, and I wasn't sure about anything then. But being with you, when you kiss me, I know. Maura, I know that you are the one for me."

I lifted Jane's head slowly, forcing her to look me in the eye. "I was lonely, Jane. Before I met you, I was emotionally dead. You showed me what its like to be loved, how to love. You make me feel alive, Jane."

"I love you so much, Maur. I never want to be without you."

I rested my forehead against Jane's. "Forever, Jane. Forever me and forever you."

**A/N: this is for Jane and Celeste. Hope you guys liked it**


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